Reactions to "Weary of the Gender Wars"

I just read a blog post titled "Weary of the Gender Wars" on the "Gifted for Leadership" blog that struck a chord in my heart. Nancy Leafblad expressed much of my feelings about what it is like to be a woman in ministry today. Here are a few excerpts that rang true for me along with some comments of my own:

"The trouble with these debates [complimentarian vs. egalitarian] between members of the academy is they have no basis in reality...
Reality for most women in ministry also does not speak of “rights.” We serve because we cannot do otherwise. I mean: who would willingly place themselves in a position of being targeted at every turn without being compelled to do so by their desire to serve the Lord God? But the academy continues to keep the war going through a debate that is far from the reality of most women in vocational ministry." (emphasis added)

-At Denver Seminary, there is not much debate about women in ministry. Not because we all get along, but because it has been argued that the debate is too personal. I have to say that it is personal. The debate has to do with a person's "rights" based on their gender. How much more personal can you get?! The problem is that debate in the academy does not seem to understand that there are real people involved on both sides of the issue and that all common courtesy goes out the window in the name of theology. I'm not saying all complimentarians are like this, but I have been shocked when fellow students have essentially told me to stay home and be a mom. That's when the debate is personal.
-I'd like to add here, who would place themselves in that position unless they knew God would give them the strength to keep going because of the calling He has placed on their lives?

"I’m tired of the discussion. I’m tired of being cautious around ministry staff that I do not know, not trusting how they’ll receive me. I’m tired of having to justify the call God has placed on my life to serve him in a pastoral role. I’m tired of having my gifts denied, often buried, because I am made in God’s image as a woman and not as a man..." (again, emphasis added)

- Being part of the seminary community was difficult for this very reason. A woman never knows when someone will exclude her exclusively because she's female. For a time I was incredibly timid in class and spiritual formation group simply because I knew I was not accepted. I knew this because men would not talk to me or acknowledge me. If I was in a class with two women and twenty five men no one would sit next to me. It's... disheartening, to say the least.

"I had the privilege of serving under the ministry of a world-renowned pastor for 25 years. We talked many times about this debate and our conversations helped me through those first rough times of attack. I asked him once why he didn’t speak out for women in ministry because he was so clearly supportive. His response surprised me. He told me he didn’t want to be marked by the issue, as many others had been; rather, he wanted to be known to preach Christ and quietly address divisive issues through example. I wish I had that luxury because whether I like it or not, the “gender war” follows me everywhere."

- To all of those who have stood up for us women, I thank you. You have given us a place to stand. You have reminded us that God places great value in our lives and in our work. You have encouraged us to continue when we otherwise may not have.

While this article resonates with me, I don't let myself feel the weariness often. If I let the negative feelings become too strong I want to quit. I almost did halfway through seminary. But God showed me that His way is greater than this war. He has placed a calling on my life that is stronger than any debate, stronger than any opposition. It is why I went to seminary. It is why I graduated from seminary.

There needs to be more awareness in the academy that this discussion is not just a debate over the interpretation of scripture. It is a debate over the way people are allowed to live their lives. It is a debate over the importance of individuals. And it is a debate over who God uses and how.

I'm especially thankful to those who I have tagged on this note on Facebook. You have come alongside me and encouraged me in some tough times (whether you knew it or not). You equipped me to use my gifts in leadership and ministry. You validated me when I felt insecure and afraid. I realize now I don't even know if some of you are complimentarian or egalitarian. But it does not matter. You have loved me.

Thank You.