being a woman in a man's world

What is it about women that is so threatening to men? At my school the men have such strong boundaries with us women I feel like I must be sin incarnate. You can't get too close to me... I might do something inappropriate! That's ridiculous.

I heard an excerpt from the book Sacred Marriage on the radio a month or so ago that pretty well explained how I feel I am viewed at the seminary. I can't find the quote in the book right now, but the man basically said he has always viewed women as incompetent or lesser as well as sexual seductresses. As I sat there listening I realized with horror that this has been my experience at the seminary. If I am not needing to defend my presence at the seminary I am often concerned about how a man is looking at me (if my clothes are too tight, if I'm spending to much time with him, if anything could possibly be inappropriate that I am doing without realizing I am doing it). I end up feeling like I shouldn't be there because I am just a hindrance to men. I am a threat just by being a woman.

Real encouraging.

Scary.

Do I really want to do this? Go into a field where most doors are closed? I am so discouraged. And yet, I knew a bit of what I was facing. I just didn't know all of it. Statistics like 3-10% of women who graduate from seminary get jobs in churches. Or, 70% of male pastors believe women are restricted from ministering to others.

Yet, this is just the world. God has gifted me to be a pastor and He has called me to do it. I need to trust Him. If only that were easier... If only I knew the future...

Thank you God for creating me special, the way I am, female and everything. I do believe that I bear your image just like the men in my classes. Please help me stay confident in that and not feel intimidated by those who would put me down. Amen.