Wholly Surrendered

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees,
and I am Lost for words, so lost in love,
I'm sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

Why is it so difficult to trust a God who put the stars in the sky and gave us life on earth? Why do I have such difficulty surrendering my plans, my hopes, my dreams, my relationships, myself to the one who died for me?

Last week was hard for me, and it was probably been hard for you too. I know of three deaths from my home church which were unexpected for me and hit hard. I've been angry. No, I've been pissed. Why didn't God heal them? I've been asking this question for a week without many answers.

And then I heard this song on Sunday at church and answers started coming. And I started writing this:

Even though you did not heal them, you saved them. You offered yourself for all of us and because of you we have life abundantly from the end of this life on throughout eternity. They are with you and we are here and it hurts, but who are we to question you Lord?
Job 42:2-6:
I know that you can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?' Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. 'Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You and You instruct me.' I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You; Therefore I retract, And I repent in dust and ashes.

That's a hard passage - and I still don't completely understand it. But I do know one thing, God is here. God has come and offered Himself to us if we only surrender to Him. We must decrease and He must increase.