Fear

I struggle with fear and anxiety. In high school I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder - which made perfect sense to me because I always felt fearful in social situations. Just a friend mentioning going out with some people I didn't know (who were much more "popular" than I was) made me panic (including racing heartbeat, sweating palms, etc.).

My SAD is under control now, but there are times when I feel the same way I did in High School. Now I know something I didn't know then - God has promised to give me life abundantly. He is there to stop the anxious feelings.

However, recently I've been full of anxiety over money. My husband and I are on a tight budget as of January 1st (which we should have been on earlier, but didn't realize) and it is really hard for me to feel ok with the fact that I can't buy a pair of jeans (which I "need" because mine don't fit) because right now we don't have money for clothes. This may seem shallow, but it has been really hard. It is also frustrating when we get invited to go to dinner or to a movie with friends knowing that right now we just can't afford it. I know that someday soon we'll be better off, but we need to be careful.

The other night I had an emotional breakdown because of this fear. I felt angry because I didn't want to pray about it any more and that was the only advice I was getting from others. However, when we got home, I collapsed on my bed in tears and prayers began to pour out of my heart.

That's when it happened. I felt God telling me that he didn't condemn me for my fears. He was hurting along side me and loved me so much that I felt better... well at least a little bit. The fears are still there, but now I know that I don't need to be afraid of being rejected by God. It's as though I've had social anxiety with the Creator who knows my every thought and has told me that it's ok.

What a wonderful God we have.

Watoto

Today I was blessed.

The Watoto Children's Choir from Uganda came to sing to us in our chapel service. These children have all lost either one or both of their parents, yet they are filled with so much joy and enthusiasm they had the entire audience dancing with them! I've never seen so many middle-aged white men pumping their arms in the air and shaking their butts! It was great.

In Africa, there are more than one million orphans and Watato is a ministry which gives these children homes through the support of sponsors around the world. The children are placed into homes with 8 children and a mother who cares for them, teaches them, and feeds them. For just $25 a month, we can support a child or a mother.

Check out www.watoto.com for more information and click on the title, "Watoto," above to hear one of my favorite songs they sang today!