Where is your heart?
I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine
Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
And that's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?
It seems so much is left unsaid
But you can say anything
Oh, anytime you need
Baby, it's just you and me
This song by Kelly Clarkson is really resonating with me today. I feel so distant from God right now and it's hard to tell if he's listening. I feel so much pain about so many issues and when even He seems silent I get so scared.
Last night when I was listening to this song, I felt like the part of the first verse which I wrote above really states how I feel about God, but then I felt like He was speaking to me with the last verse I wrote above. He is asking me to come to Him and say anything, anytime. Why don't I do that? I get so ashamed so often.
I am in a hard place right now. I have so many fears.
posted by Leah @ 1:48 PM
3 Comments:
Yup.
I understand.
That's why we must "live by faith." We can't always see Him.
There are some hills not far from my house. Every now and then they're hidden behind clouds and I cannot see them, but I know they are there.
God seems to be concealed behind so many things. Fear is a biggie. Unrealistic expectations is another.
I am out of work and just went through a divorce. Had to do a change of address card for my ex-wife today. Hard. Like the day I paid a man to carve my mother's tombstone.
They're not coming back.
God is.
Don't know what else to say. I have a big house and no income. Pushing 60. Gotta pack up and move but I have no idea where. Spent hundreds of hours looking for work that pays enough to cover health insurance and the basics. One interview.
Never finished college. Had two kids. Close to one but not the other.
Anyway.
It helps to hear about other people's troubles sometimes. Not to compare, but to take our thoughts off ourselves. That's why I look at your blog sometimes.
God will get you through your troubles.
Reading the Psalms?
Just read this from the head coach of the Colts:
"He spoke of his youngest son, Jordan, who has a rare congenital
condition which causes him not to feel pain.
"He feels things, but he doesn't get the sensation of pain," Dungy said. The lessons learned from Jordan, Tony Dungy said, are many.
"That sounds like it's good at the beginning, but I promise you it's not," Dungy said.
"We've learned a lot about pain in the last five years we've had Jordan. We've learned some hurts are really necessary for kids. Pain is
necessary for kids to find out the difference between what's good and what's harmful."
Jordan, Dungy said, loves cookies. "Cookies are good," Dungy said, "but in Jordan's mind, if they're good out on the plate, they're even better in the oven.
He will go right in the oven when my wife's not looking, reach in, take the rack out, take the pan out, burn his hands and eat the cookies and burn his tongue and never feel it.
He doesn't know that's bad for him."
Jordan, Dungy said, "has no fear of anything, so we constantly have to watch him.
The lesson learned, Dungy said, is simple. "You get the question all the time, 'Why does the Lord allow pain in your life? Why do bad things happen
to good people? If God is a God of love, why does he allow these hurtful things to happen?'' Dungy said.
"We've learned that a lot of times because of that pain, that little temporary pain, you learn what's harmful. You learn to fear the right things.
"Pain sometimes lets us know we have a condition that needs to be healed. Pain inside sometimes lets us know that spiritually we're not quite right and we need to be healed and that God will send that healing agent right to the spot. "Sometimes, pain is the only way that will turn us as kids back to the Father."
God use this pain to bring me back to You. (Not that I left, but rather that I try to find solace in things that do not satisfy.) - JRM
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home