It's all about You

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worhip
And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much you deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is yours
Every single breath

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

Usually when this song is played during worship services I settle in for a time of ho-hum singing simply because this song has lost its depth to me over the years. However, today was different.

Today is the second day of my fourth semester at Denver Seminary and I am tired. Last night I had another emotional break down because of feeling overwhelmed with the work load the semester is going to bring and doubts about my ability to perform the way I feel I must. Tim can't understand why I panic each semester when I always pull through and I don't fully understand that anxiety either. However, when this song was played today I remembered why I came to seminary.

I am in seminary because I love to learn. I am in seminary because I want to learn how to teach to the best of my abilities. But most of all, I am in seminary because God called me here. When I began seminary I wanted my school work to be worshipful. I wanted to write papers, attend classes, and take tests in order to bring glory to God; after all, I am doing it because he told me to.

But, rather than making sure I have been doing my schoolwork in a way which brings attention to God, I have been doing it to bring attention to myself. I have stressed over exams and papers simply because if I didn't get an A I believed that would show something lacking in me. However, God did not call me to get A's, to be the smartest person in the class (which I have never achieved), or to write the best paper/sermon. He called me to learn who I am, to develop my gifts and talents, to be a servant.

And so, Lord,
I am sorry for the thing I have made seminary
When it's all about you
It's all about you Jesus

I am weak
I am poor
I am tired
I am Yours

Please be faithful to give me the strength that I am lacking. Please teach me endurance. Please teach me to depend on your assessment of my value and not others'. Please love me. Please teach me to love and to rejoice in other people's victories rather than comparing them to my own. It's all about you.

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. If you speak, you should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If you serve, you should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. ~1 Peter 3:10-11