Homesickness

Isn't it crazy how you can be so excited for something and then when it comes feel something completely different? Well, that's how I'm feeling right now. As of tonight, we have been in Littleton, Colorado for two weeks and I'm homesick.

Before we left I had so many hopes and dreams. I had so much excitement for being near the mountains and meeting new people. But, we're here and I don't feel that excitement anymore. I've spent most of my time waiting to do something, but nothing happens. I know most of that is my fault, but really, I don't know what to do.

Today was hard. I was bored and lonely. I watched at least 3 hours of tv (I don't like to do that very much... it drains me) and took a nap after dinner. I spent some time reading, but the book wasn't very encouraging... actually, it was the opposite.

What happened to my hopes and dreams? Are they gone? No. But, they're hiding. They're disappointed. Except, they're not over. They can still be completed. It's hard to start new friendships and I, as some of you may know, have struggled with social anxiety since high school. But, I know it will get better.

Coming out here was a leap of faith. I've never been to Colorado before this, so I didn't know what to expect. We didn't know anyone here, but we have had some amazing connections pop up which are very comforting. And, the church family at Littleton Vineyard has opened its arms and hearts to us. Thank you, Lord, for such a blessing.

As I've written this, I've become more encouraged. That's what I love about writing. It helps me think clearer and puts everything in perspective.

A verse I read the first full day after we arrived was Romans 15:13. It says, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." I love that God is the source of hope. He loves giving us dreams and desires for our future. The key is trusting him. Trusting him is something I've had to work on... but that will be another post someday.

All I know is this: when I trust God with my hopes, I am filled with peace, just like this verse says. And, when I'm feeling homesick like I am today, peace is what I need.